Undefined
by Kare Uta
Summary: If you dont know a person does that make it easier to talk to them about what's wrong? Because you dont know them? So when Bryan spends Christmas out in the cold, rather than with friends, can a stranger steer him back to his dear friends? Oneshot.


_**Undefined**_

Frustrated, freezing moments went by painfully slow as Bryan didn't move from the cold bench in the park, sitting back and staring up at the slowly-darkening sky. It was cold out, even for him and his experiences in the Russian winters. He didn't know what to do, nor did he know how he was going to spend the next few hours till he could go home but he just sat there, staring up at the sky like it had all the answers, or like it interested him in the meantime. An icy shuddering breeze brushed against his clothing, passing through it as though it were almost nothing and raising goose bumps onto the pale skin. He began to feel a little uncomfortable just sitting there doing nothing, why was it so hard for him to get up and find something to do to waste time?

"Hey there." A quiet voice called from behind him, almost being carried off by the wind if it weren't for his sharp hearing. The voice did startle him a little though, causing him to sit up straight in a hurry and turn to look behind him. She stood there behind him, wrapped up cosily in dark blue denim jeans and jacket, a black sweater underneath. Her dark brown hair was tied back into a bun so her small face stood out more than it would if her hair were down. Naturally, Bryan didn't take much notice of most of this, his eyes were too busy staring into her light blue and silver ones. She placed a hand out in front of herself, gently setting it on his shoulder and fingers curling over the broad shoulder so vaguely he still thought he heard her fingers cracking from the cold, "Sorry I startled you." She apologized.

Bryan shrugged her hand off gently and turned away from her, being this way to his team mates and some other people was one thing, but to a girl he felt different about it. He never liked the idea of acting that way to a girl, he saw them as overly sensitive and would have preferred avoiding uncomfortable situations. "You didn't." he told her coldly, nothing new about that. He felt the girl run her hand along the wooden back of the bench, then turning to sit beside him, gripping at the cold wood of the bench at her sides. He glared angrily at her but she didn't meet his gaze, just staring on at the empty space ahead of her, "Can I help you with something?" he asked her.

"Well…it's Christmas Eve and noting a guy sitting by himself in a park in the cold, naturally I came to find out what was wrong."

That was something else he hated about girls, most of them tended to be so sensitive when it came to noticing another person's pain, it was frustrating because even when someone hid it from them they'd persist in wanting to know what was wrong, "What makes you think something's wrong?"

The girl shrugged as a reply, then adding, "You just looked it and besides, no one in their right mind would sit outside in this cold unless something where wrong."

"So tell me, how do I look now?"

The girl saddened slightly and shrugged again, looking at him this time, "I can't tell." She answered.

"Isn't it a little obvious?" Really, wasn't it obvious to her? Wasn't it even slightly obvious that he didn't want her near him? That he just wanted her to leave and forget he was sitting there?

"Give me six months and I can show you the papers that mark that I will be in fact legally blind." She smirked up at him, or at least where she thought he was of the very little she could see. She heard just a quiet gasp coming from him, just as he'd turned his head away from her, she could tell by the change in colour, "I don't understand how you could have known." She told him once she'd heard him utter a very quiet apology. He didn't say a word after that, confusing her a little further about him. "So why are you out here?"

"You're out here alone too, or have you not noticed?"

The stranger laughed quietly, sitting back and crossing her arms across her chest for warmth, explaining quietly her situation, "I was at a Christmas lunch with some friends…after a while I got a little bored so I went for a walk, and that's how I got here."

"They were so bad you had to leave?" Bryan asked, turning to her.

The girl laughed suddenly at that, nodding accompanied by a 'hn', "Yeah well, the topics of shopping, guys and weird movies aren't really my thing." Her words, and supposedly expression she said it all in, made a small laugh of the boy's own to escape him, "Well whatever it is that's bothering you can't be too bad, at least you're laughing."

She was an absolute stranger to him, yet a part of him felt really comfortable talking to her. Maybe because she was a stranger, it was better for him? Possibly because he didn't know her, because he'd never see her again, he wouldn't have a problem saying something to her. What would happen if he tried that? How would things turn out? He shrugged lightly at the thought of it, looking back up at the sky, "My friends are out with their friends so since there was no place I needed to be I thought I'd try waste the day."

The brunette turned her head to look at him quickly, just a little surprised by the sudden openness, she snapped that thought out of her head and asked, "Some friends, why didn't they ask you to go with them?"

"They did ask…and I refused."

Brown hair swayed quickly as the girl turned to look at him a little sharply, "Well I don't see why you're here sulking about something you could have stopped." She said almost bitterly.

Bryan rolled his eyes, actually stinging from the cold, "I'm not sulking…and anyway, you came here sharing your opinion of them with me, an opinion I didn't ask for." His old dark and cold self was back…but he didn't want that dark cold side back. He felt burning in his cheeks, shyness or something of the sort, he thought it was. He watched the girl as she pouted and looked up at the already shining stars in the darkening sky.

"Sorry…" She apologized quietly, "I suppose I don't know why you refused…maybe you had a reason." Her words didn't strike anything in the other boy, clearly he didn't understand what she was implying. She turned to him fully, sitting with her shoulder against the back of the bench, "Why is it that you refused?" came her question in a determined voice.

"You're very straightforward." Bryan mumbled angrily, closing his eyes as just a tint of frustration took him over.

The girl nodded curtly, "I know that…" she whispered softly, "I suppose when concern for a person is involved, all shyness fails." She brightened up a second later, smiling quite contently as she stared on in his direction, "Unlike you with your frustration, your shyness remains."

Bryan raised an eyebrow at that thought upon hearing her say it, "Shyness? What are you talking about?"

"I'm almost legally blind but I'm not stupid."

"Sure?"

A light weak fist came in contact with the boy's muscular arm before the girl sat back comfortably, staring out in front of her, "Though I do think you're a shy person, by the way you speak and by the way you carry yourself."

"No offence, but you've practically lost all of you're eyesight, how could you possibly know how I carry myself?"

"Like I said, I'm not stupid. I know things, I've learnt with time." She shifted to face him, resting with her shoulder against the back of the bench, "So...why didn't you go with them?" she asked for another time. Her words only seemed to be frustrating the other boy more and it brought plenty of silence between them, with her just staring at him in a concerned but seemingly blank way.

Even though Bryan knew she couldn't see him properly he still felt terrible uncomfortable beneath her supposed gaze which only seemed to bug him a little more by the minute. Not for a particular reason, but because he just didn't know how to react to it. He'd dealt with any anger issues he'd been having lately so he didn't get mad at the littlest thing as much but he just felt irritated when there was something he couldn't react to.

"You know...people don't usually answer that amazing 'what's wrong?' question because they're afraid of being judged..." The dark-haired girl began, turning away and steering her attention up at the sky.

Bryan glared in her direction even though she couldn't see it even if she wanted to, "What's your point here?" he bit out rudely.

The girl looked at him again and smiled vaguely, "You shouldn't be afraid of saying anything to me...You don't know a thing about me, not even my name, I'm a stranger after all, you can say something and whatever the reaction, you _never_ have to see me again."

"Then is there really a point to talking?"

Slowly the brunette got up and circled the bench a bit, having felt her muscles freezing achingly from lack of movement. "Of course there's a point; you'd be getting a terrible load off your chest and you'll feel a lot better."

'_This girl really must be living in a fantasy or something.' _Bryan thought, looking at her with a strange look on her features.

"You probably think it's stupid or something but really, it does make a lot of sense." She sat down abruptly beside him again and crossed her arms, "Of course, you wouldn't know what I mean since you never tried it before."

Bryan looked away from her, nodding just slightly as he found admitting to his defeat was difficult, "Maybe you're right." He gave in, having to admit that much at least.

She was glad she was able to get that much out of him and turned to face him, smiling softly, "It's cold out." She stated bluntly, "How about you and I go discuss how right I am over some hot coffee or something?"

Bryan shrugged slightly, giving a quiet sigh of defeat, "Fine, it's not like I'm doing anything out here anyway." He murmured with his usually monotonous voice. He got up and started walking away, then being slightly startled when after a moment the girl behind him gripped his shoulder hurriedly. "What is it?" he asked quickly.

The girl blushed timidly and retracted her hand, crossing her arms across her chest, "Sorry, didn't know where I was walking."

With that in mind, the boy mentally kicked himself, having not thought of the fact that he was leading and the girl didn't know where exactly it was that she was going. He walked close beside her from then on, that way she felt his presence beside her and wasn't as lost as she thought she was. "It's any wonder how you got this far." Bryan joked quietly, trying to rid the two of the awkward silence.

"I almost bumped into a tree on the way to the park." She stated with a light shrug, "Aside from that, no real problems."

Her words weren't even needed for Bryan to look out for her in his next action, pushing the cafe door open for her so she wouldn't bump into it. She turned back to him, smiled honestly and thanked him in a whisper. This was just an action that the older male passed off with a shrug, having found that to him it was no big deal and that it was nothing she should be thanking him for. Obviously to the female, it was a completely different story because rarely did she ever get that kind of help or respect, and considering this act of kindness came from someone that wouldn't usually do it only added to her happiness.

The two shared a booth together, both basking in the comforting warmth of the cafe and their hot coffees which they'd bought. They sat in silence, something Bryan didn't quite mind anymore. He thought that he was finally safe with the silence, then feeling the girl's supposed gaze on him again. "Ne..." **("Hey...") **She said almost childishly, "Are you going to tell me why you're so upset or not?" Innocence shone in her eyes as she asked that question.

Bryan actually smirked a bit and looked away from her, "What makes you think I'm really that upset?"

"A girl's sensitivity, motherly instincts, a blind person's sixth sense, call it what you like but I just know."

The smirk on the young male's face just increased a little more, after looking back at her knowing how serious she was his face fell a little. He shifted uncomfortably beneath the blank stare, placing his coffee back down onto the table before leaning back in his seat. Despite the girl being blind, her fixation of her eyes on him was intense and after a moment of pure silence between them he suddenly felt as though she was melting through him. Her words from earlier kept replaying themselves in his head and slowly they made a bit of sense. Only when he'd realized that didn't he hear her voice trying to quietly snap him out of it, the clicking of her fingers with it.

With all that he didn't have much time to think, taking a quick shaky breath and replying as best he could, "I've had a bad couple of months...I'm just not a very sociable person and I didn't have the strength to try be friendly with their friends anyway."

"And the difference between them and me is...?"

"Like you said...you're a stranger to me. It means I'm not forced to make a good impression."

"Yet you seem to do it anyway."

Those words particularly confused him, making him unsure on whether she was right about it. Was he actually trying to make a good impression? In a way he didn't feel that way. He felt the stress around her, like he did whenever he spoke to someone but he didn't think he treated her any differently.

"Ne..." She called again, smiling as she leant forward a bit, "To be honest...I just think you're already a nice person, you're just insecure as to how you appear around other people so you try hard but...really and truly, you don't need to try, and you'd know that if you compared things from when you try and when you don't."

Red was tinting Bryan's cheeks immensely with that, partly from embarrassment and partly from anger that he couldn't understand himself. He already hated it when the others knew something he didn't, now there was something a stranger knew about him that he couldn't understand himself. For yet another time that day, he was unsure of what to do. Instead of saying or doing anything he just kept silent, trying to avert his own gaze from the one the girl had on him.

"You know...most people can say a lot from their facial expressions. I can't see them so you're going to have to talk, otherwise I won't know what you're thinking."

"Not even I know what I'm thinking." He heard her laugh quietly, hurriedly looking up at her, "What?"

"Now that's a new one." She remarked, "Just not something I hear people say every day." She moved a hand out onto the table, her hand slowly moving to touch his, "You know what I really think your problem is?"

Bryan's fist tightened beneath her hand and he was about to make a sarcastic reply to her question but chose not to and just said, "Sure." In a rather upset and angry tone.

She smirked slightly at the sound in the other's voice, finding it somewhat amusing that his attitude tended to change quickly at everything she said. "I just think you feel really intimidated by people."

Anger just grew a little bit more, "And you're basing this off what exactly?"

She sighed at the frustration she got out of him, "Off the amount of knowledge I have about people and the little bit I've learnt about you." Very vaguely she could see him sitting back in his seat, having developed her other senses to take place of her sight, she heard his anger and disappointment with the slight hitch there was in his breathing. "You're not one to give in to your feelings so easily, are you?" she asked quietly, receiving no reply whatsoever.

Bryan glanced up at her, then going back to staring down at his hands, "Am I really that obvious?" he asked, a hint of self-resentment in his voice.

The girl's face fell a little, shaking her head at that, "No…not at all. Maybe just to a blind girl, but as long as you don't have one that knows your friends, you're safe."

With some time the Russian was slowly tiring of the strange and undefined relationship he had with this girl. She was a stranger yet somehow she brought out little bits of his flustered character that he'd spent so much time trying to cover up from his teammates and friends. Some Christmas he was having, one away from the people he really cared about but in the company of someone who was confusing him and calming him at the same time. True he was unbelievably flustered about how she was bringing things out of him but at the same time, he felt a part of his pain evaporating with the few words that past his lips and the slightly confusing but insightful words that passed her own.

"So…are you going to tell me what's been bothering you lately or is that something you'd prefer to keep to yourself?"

Bryan continued to sip his coffee, avoiding her gaze completely, "What do you think?" he asked her.

She nodded, he saw it, "I thought as much. I'm really sorry I'm being such a pest about this, I just don't like knowing that something's wrong with a person, especially at this time of the year."

"This time of the year is no different to any other time." Typical Bryan spoke up.

She seemed a little bit disappointed at her words, he saw that too, it was the only clear indication that it upset her since her voice revealed nothing, "Well I suppose I can't really argue with you."

How could she tell how he was feeling without being able to see him? He had his eyesight, it was perfect but without it he wouldn't have been able to define her emotions as well as he did. It really made him wonder how the other did things the way she did. "If it makes you feel any better...this is the best Christmas I've ever heard."

The brunette smiled slightly, blinking, "There…really isn't much competition is there?" she asked, humour in her voice from the realization.

Bryan smirked, finding it funny that she'd actually figured it out, "Sad to say…there really isn't _any_ competition whatsoever."

"Good to know." She joked with a quiet laugh, "You sound so cute…" she added in a whisper. She could feel a strangely surprised look on her suddenly with which she just smiled casually, "I mean it…you have a cute laugh."

"You're way off." He murmured, sipping the coffee he'd come to have neglected after a while.

"I don't think I've ever been wrong all afternoon, why should I believe you in thinking I'm wrong now?" She became serious after a moment of silence, "Can I see you?" she asked quietly.

"You tell me." Bryan mumbled carelessly, having not realized exactly what she meant until a moment later. He felt strange with that question, taking in an extremely quiet breath while he thought about it. With uneasiness in his stomach he sat forward, shrugging slightly to indicate that it was okay. Although then it registered that his silence didn't work with her as it did with his teammates. "Sure." He added in confirmation. After all, what real harm could she do to him? She hadn't succeeded in hurting him in the whole time they were there, there were also some people around so she wouldn't hurt him there, there was no one he knew either so it didn't make any damper on his pride.

With intense eyes Bryan followed her hands which moved across the table to him and had apparently been moving around to grab his hand again. She smiled softly upon picking it up with both hands, her thumbs gently brushing over his knuckles. She felt the confusion radiating from him which caused her to smile a little bit more, a tint of pink in her cheeks, "It's actually rude to touch a person's face first." She could feel the extreme amount of fear coming from him as one hand gently held his hand while the other moved up his arm and onto his shoulder, it was unbelievable how much of it she felt from him but she didn't dare say anything, preferring to keep it to herself so as to make him a little less nervous.

Her fingers gently graced over his pale cold cheek, causing him to shy away slightly. She waited patiently for him to recover from the touch before continuing. He couldn't deny it, her touch against his skin was gentle and cautious, still not easing his worry all that much but still being somewhat distracting. He felt her thumbs gracing the sides of his face, then one going lightly over his nose, then his lips, something he would have pulled away from if he hadn't strongly stopped himself.

He flinched and shuddered once when a chill ran over him when she touched his cheek with a certain softness, and that was all it took for the girl to finally retract, clasping her hands together closer to herself. "Sorry." She apologized quietly. Once again she got no reply to her apology, just more silence. She stood up, surprising and slightly terrifying the boy at first with her sudden height as she slid out of the booth. At first it seemed he thought she got fed up of him and was going to leave, that was only until she held out a hand to him and smiled lightly. He continued to stare at her hand, something she could tell when he remained silent, "Come on…let's go for a short walk."

He pushed her hand gently away from him, then standing up and moving to stand beside her. He gave her a tap on the back of her shoulder and began walking, the stranger following close behind. The two walked out into the cold, the girl gripping tightly onto her own arms, bringing them closer to her body for warmth. They walked for a little while in silence till she finally broke it again, "Hey…did I hurt you back there?" she asked in a soft manner.

Needless to say that question took him aback just a bit, making him hesitate to answer. He shook his head, once again forgetting that he wasn't talking to one of his teammates who could see his gestures. "No…not at all."

"Ah. I just thought I did…you seemed pretty freaked out and scared so I just thought…"

"No!" He shot quickly, then calming down slightly, shaking his head again, "No…that's not it." He just couldn't stand it when someone said he was scared of something. It was always true. He really always was scared but it didn't mean he liked being called that or having to deal with the facts of it. "So where do you want to go now?" he asked hurriedly, changing the subject and using his sudden responsibility of the blind girl as an excuse.

She'd allowed the subject change because she didn't want to bother him with something he didn't want to talk about any longer, he was able to tell all of that easily. "Just back to the park, I can get back home by myself from over there." So that's what Bryan did, responsibly led her back to the park. At the same time he couldn't help but wonder how their evening was going to end. They'd spent an hour and a half together and still they didn't know all that much about each other. It seemed that at the end of the day, all they wanted was company from a person who wouldn't judge them and who wouldn't make them feel extremely awkward for no reason. With Bryan's reasoning, at least every time he felt awkward around her, he had a good reason for it.

As for her, it seemed like she just needed time away from her own friends and family. Maybe she'd felt tired of speaking to people who knew her so well, while with him he got tired of the people that thought they knew everything about him and stressed him out about it. With her, she questioned him a bit, she cared but by the end of it she'd given him his own space. That was priceless, and something he hadn't gotten before.

She felt him stop in the middle of the park, Bryan then turning back to her, "Are you sure you can walk home by yourself?" he asked her with an sigh.

She raised an eyebrow at him, smirking lightly as she stared on past him, "Is this concern I hear?" she asked with amusement in her voice. At that she heard him sighing, asking her to please not start with that. "Yes, I'm sure. I'm not a child, I can take care of myself." She stepped closer to him, smiling honestly, "Thanks for today, it seemed you saved me from extreme boredom."

"Can't say you didn't do the same." Bryan mumbled, a little more to himself than to her.

Carefully she reached out in front of her where she heard him and could vaguely see him, placing a hand on the side of his neck, then moving it down onto his shoulder. Her smile was gentle, more honest than anything else, "Thanks for today…" she pulled him close in a very light and loose hug, she gave him a quick friendly peck on the cheek and let go. "Sorry…inappropriate isn't it?" he was silent again so she turned to leave, then turning back to face him, "Hey…do you want to come to my place or are you going to be okay out here by yourself?" her voice held sympathy in it, not the typical kindness he'd heard from her throughout the afternoon.

Bryan shifted uncomfortably but shook his head, "I think it's time for me to go back to my friends."

"About time…they must be worried." She remarked.

"I very highly doubt that." Bryan mumbled to himself, "Bye!" he called finally, then running off as fast as he could in the opposite direction. He knew that if he didn't leave as soon as he could then he wouldn't leave at all. It was taking a lot out of him just to end the short and undefined relationship right there. In a way she'd thought him to go and appreciate the kind of friendship he had with his teammates. To a degree she'd showed him he could have a relationship with almost anyone, and that he had to be thankful for the ones he already had. He felt bad for running off like that, but he couldn't say he was surprised that his instincts had called him to do it. After just a few minutes of running, he stopped, shoving his cold hands in his pockets as he leaned back against a wall.

He moved his fingers slightly in his pocket, trying to get the feeling back in them and keep them from cracking painfully. That was when he felt something in there, a slip of soft paper that light grazed against his fingers. He squashed it slightly in his hands and pulled it out, looking down at the napkin that he saw, holding onto it tightly to keep it from flying in the strong winds. There was the writing: _'Noriko: __09054001342' _

He smirked, he wasn't sure when she had the chance to write something like that, he assumed it was when they were paying for their coffees. So at least it meant that their friendship didn't have to end there, that all hope wasn't lost. For now though, he wanted to forget about her for a few hours. For now he wanted to go back to his teammates and just…well he hadn't figured that part out yet but he just knew he wanted to go back to them. Possibly relax? For now he was just thankful that she taught him to be thankful for every relationship he had so far. Any undefined relationship was better than no relationship whatsoever.

For the last couple of months, felt all alone because he was out of the abbey and both him and his teammates were able to live happy lives. The problem was he hadn't known where to start and he was far to timid to ask any of them how he should start his life. Then it'd dawned on him that he'd end up being like a stranger to his friends and he didn't want to be just a stranger to the people he knew for so long. Maybe it was time to start things over and maybe he didn't have to lose everything he ever knew.

**A/N: ****So this was something I'd thought of a long time ago and I'd started writing it sometime in November and then stopped for a long time. Then just before Christmas day I continued it and then…it got deleted by my dear old cousin so I had to re-write it. Thanks loads goes to EpitomeOfMisery who had a ton of patience with my rants when I was re-writing it. **

**Please leave a review regarding my rather strange idea of a story. I really think the first version of this was better but I couldn't stop fixing things in the second copy so this is the final product. Hope everyone is enjoying their holidays! Happy New Year!**


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